Indiana

I (Elvira Linville) grew up in a home where my mother was an Adventist, but my father had no particular religious affiliation. I was the youngest in my family, and when I finished high school my head was filled with dreams and projects. I felt like I owned the world, with my youth and determination to get me where I wanted to go. I walked away from God because I wanted freedom to make my dreams come true. I wanted independence, not rules and limitations. I wanted to enjoy life.

For many years I lived apart from my God, following my own desires, living the freedom I always searched for. No parents, no rules! My mother suffered a lot for my wrong decisions. She wrote me letters, reminding me not to forget God and her advice, and letting me know she prayed for me daily. It was hard for me to see my mother cry, and to read her letters, but these couldn't stop me. I was so obstinate. My desires to be a successful person filled my mind.

I knew from the beginning that something was wrong. Although I had many things I wanted, there was an emptiness that wouldn't let me be completely happy. I just tried not to pay attention to the tenuous voice in my conscience that kept becoming stronger. One day I said, "What am I doing with my life?" I felt so bad because I saw that I was doing everything wrong. I was hurting people who loved me, and hurting myself. I couldn't stop the tears that covered my face, and I knelt to pray to ask God's forgiveness.

"I want to come back to You, my Lord," I prayed, "but I can't do it myself. I am so feeble. Please take my hand and help me to walk on Your way again." (Actually, when you go away from God it is very hard to return to Him. You cannot do it for yourself; you must ask God for help.)

When I met David, who is now my husband, he was like a gift from God that I didn't deserve. Before we got married I said to God, "You know how much I love this man, and I would like him to be my husband. I promise, if You allow us to get married, I will never go away from You. But if it is not Your will to give me this man as my husband, help me to accept Your decision." God gave me David as my husband. I believe in my heart that God has special plans for my husband, as He has for me. I keep praying for my husband.

I believe that the best prayer is the prayer of love because our God is a God of immense love. I am so thankful for my mother's prayers, and the people who were praying for me. I thank God for sending me Gail Macomber as a friend and spiritual support.

On November 3, 2007, I was baptized, and I feel like I never have before. I understand that the best for me is to have God in my life, and God in my home, and never again will I go away from my God.

Elvira Linville, Cicero Church member