When families experience a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death, there are many places they can turn to for support and guidance in dealing with their grief.

Support groups, books, counselors are all readily available for parents and grandparents. But for young children, resources are sparse. Cathy Blanford calls these young siblings the "forgotten mourners."

Blanford has seen firsthand the devastating effects these types of loss have on young children. She volunteers as a bereavement counselor for Still Missed, a support program at Adventist Hinsdale Hospital for families who experience pregnancy loss.

"Many times, parents are so overwhelmed with their own sorrow, they have no capacity or energy to deal with their other children," Blanford said. "But little ones overhear things and pick up vibes, and without concrete information, children can experience disturbing feelings involving fear, guilt and confusion."

Recognizing the need, Blanford decided to write a book titled "Something Happened." It tells the story of a mother, father and a little boy who are looking forward to the birth of a new baby. It describes the anticipation of each family member, but then "something happens," and suddenly the child is struggling to comprehend why there is no new baby.

"Cathy is a true gift to the program," said Rosmarie Roose, R.N., coordinator of the Still Missed program. "She's able to capture the feelings these families are experiencing and shed light on them in a positive way to bring them hope and healing."

Something Happened is written purposely in a straightforward manner and addresses the many confusing feelings a child experiences when the anticipated baby has died. Perhaps most important, the book includes the family's experience of going on with life while always remembering their baby.

"The child reading the book is left with a sense of reassurance that life continues," Blanford said, "and that he or she is loved and secure and is still a vital part of a loving family."

For nearly 20 years, the Still Missed program has provided a time and place for parents to join together to discuss their loss, express feelings and work together toward healing. "It's a privilege to accompany grieving people to deep places," Blanford said. "It's very spiritual—like going to the wilderness of the heart. I think of it as 'companioning.' I sit with them in their pain. It feels like prayer to me."

Most pages of Something Happened include a box with insight and advice to help parents understand what their child might be experiencing. Parents can easily scan the boxes while their child looks at the beautiful watercolor illustrations.

Besides working with Still Missed, Blanford reaches out to children of all ages dealing with grief of the loss of a parent or loved one through Adventist St. Thomas Hospice's Tommy's Kids Support Group. She has trained the volunteers who participate at the annual summer camp.

"Children who have experienced a death in their family are often reassured by stories of children with a similar experience," Blanford said. "It helps them to understand better what has happened in their own family and know that they are not alone in their feelings."

Proceeds from the book will go toward the Still Missed program. To learn more, visit www.somethinghappenedbook.com.

Julie L. Busch, regional manager of public relations, Adventist Midwest Health