It was during the depression years that little Karen's innovative mother used some organdy curtains to fashion three new Easter dresses for her daughters. After making patterns from newspapers, she sewed the dresses by hand using French seams. They had beautiful ruffles, puffed sleeves and detailed collars.

After dressing her girls in their new dresses and being sure they were ready for church, she left the room to get ready herself. Karen got restless, waiting in a big scratchy chair, and she began to chew on her collar. Returning to gather her girls up to leave for church, Karen's mother saw what had happened. Karen broke down in tears, as she had surely ruined her beautiful new dress.

Her mother left the room briefly and returned with a new collar, ready to be snapped into place. She gently removed the chewed up collar and replaced it with the new one, telling Karen that she had anticipated this might happen and that everything was okay. Karen recalls being so grateful for her mother's attitude and actions that she never chewed on a collar again! Karen also learned about God's redemptive love, a love that anticipates our needs and provides for us even before we ask.

This story reminds me of the wise words of Ellen White. She wrote much about the importance of home and family and how important it is to show love on a daily basis. Writing in the latter part of what we know as the Victorian Age, she encouraged parents to work together for the highest good of their children. The Victorian Age was a time of advocating for self-restraint at all costs. Emotional closeness between couples and between parents and children was not favored nor encouraged.

However, Ellen wrote, "No barrier of coldness and reserve should be allowed to arise between parents and children. Let parents become acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and drawing out what is in their hearts ... let your children see that you love them and will do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their young minds. Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven" (The Ministry of Healing, pp. 393, 394).

"If you desire the angels to do for your children the work given them of God, co-operate with them by doing your part" (Matthew 18:10).

Susan Murray is an associate professor of family studies who teaches behavioral science and social work at Andrews University. She is a certified family life educator and a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Possible pull-out quotes:

"Far more powerful than any sermon that can be preached is the influence of a true home upon human hearts and lives." Ellen G. White

"No work entrusted to human beings involves greater or more far-reaching results than does the work of fathers and mothers." Ellen G. White

"Home should be a place where cheerfulness, courtesy, and love abide; and where these graces dwell, there will abide happiness and peace." Ellen G. White