It’s all relative, isn’t it? It’s fun, right? Going to the movies or taking romantic ventures with someone and all the while not knowing where the adventure will lead the two of you. And there you are daydreaming about the person.

I remember the butterfly feelings. I also remember that I was not consulting God on the issue. Don’t get me wrong. I realize that the butterflies and the newness are all part of the package that people enjoy when they are attracted to someone. But let's get back to the consulting God issue.

I asked a friend, “How will I know?” She said,“You'll know when your relationship with God is better because of your relationship with that person.” She had a great answer, but depending on my own knowledge about God’s character, that statement could be taken in varying ways.

A couple years later, still on my venture for how I would know, a conversation took place during a Sabbath school lesson. The man leading the lesson proposed that we should give up the right to guide our own lives and let the Holy Spirit lead us instead. I thought about what he was suggesting and started to realize how profound the concept actually was.

The compromises I could have avoided in relationships, relationships I could have avoided, and the broken hearts that came with the inevitable ending to the daydreams and the butterfly feelings, these might not have happened if I had let the Holy Spirit lead in my life.

“Should I even be looking?” I asked myself. A voice replied, “You should be looking for Me, and I will give you your desires according to My will.” I finally got it. I understood.

What did I understand? I understood that I should live to seek God and what it means to live a life of purity before Him. I started wondering what kinds of things I was doing in my life that if my future husband could see he might be hurt by. I realized that I needed to live in purity before I even knew him, or else there was little chance of having a pure relationship when and if God decided to bless me with that one. I realized that if I was asking “How far is too far?” I was on the wrong path. I realized that while I could anticipate my future, butterflies and all, I needed to be patient and have fun not dating but living a life of purity.

So I waited. It was fun!

Mandie Ross is a child-care provider and a member of the New Haven (Michigan) Church, where she is teaching a class to the youth this summer, using the book I Kissed Dating Good-bye. Mandie is now being courted by an Andrews University theology student.