The phone rang, interrupting our peaceful slumber. Gary, my pastor/husband, answered and I leaned close to hear who was calling so late. We both recognized the strained voice on the other end of the phone; it was Becky*, a friendly, intelligent, young woman who attended my husband’s evangelistic meetings. She and her fiancé had moved across the country, shared an apartment together, and had aspirations of landing dream jobs after grad school.

"Pastor,” she whispered, “I need help. John* and I are fighting, and I’m afraid. He just threw a knife at me.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. Gary glanced at me to see if I heard her plea. I had, and my eyes were wide with concern. What should we do? What could we do in the middle of the night? Call the police? Intervene?

Becky had no family members to contact within at least three days’ drive. We knew her problem was now our problem. We had an extra bedroom and believed God prompted her to call our home for help that night. And she did receive help—from us and from a very loving church family she came to treasure during the five months before she went back to her parents’ home. Her fiancé also received supportive care and counsel. Though they decided to part ways permanently, each found a Heavenly Father who loves them through relationship struggles and life challenges.

Maybe you know someone who needs help, or maybe you will receive a call for help one day like we did. The solution may be to take them in and love them through their trials, but perhaps that is not possible or even the best solution.

Challenges in relationships come from a variety of causes and domestic violence is found across every socio-economic level, in every religion, and culture. It is prevalent in newlyweds, empty nesters, and the aging. Domestic violence even occurs in pastors' homes. The good news is God has hope and healing for broken and troubled relationships. And He promises, “Your hope will not be cut off” (Proverbs 23:18 NIV). Battered spouses should not suffer in silence. Pastors need to know where to find help for his or her troubled marriage or those in the church.

Where can you turn when you, your family, or your friends are experiencing distressing relationships? In the Lake Union, one place to call is Polly’s Place—Niles, located in Niles, Michigan. Polly’s Place—Niles is an Adventist shelter and counseling center co-founded by Polly Westman and Mable Dunbar (currently president of Polly’s Place Network) in 1997. Both of these ladies are still very involved in its ministry.

I recently interviewed Polly, Mable, and Alina Baltazar, Polly’s Place—Niles’ executive director, to learn more about this wonderful center for hope and healing. I invite you to read their responses so you will understand better the history and ministry of Polly's Place—Niles.

Polly: It was one of the happiest days of my life when my husband and I donated the property and buildings for a faith-based shelter for battered/abused women and children—a place where they could find shelter, love, peace, safety, and acceptance by receiving Christian love and counseling. It fills my heart with joy and thanksgiving to God to see these precious lives change and their happiness and peace return … by bringing our Lord and Savior into their healing process.

Mable: Since opening Polly’s Place in 1997, God has blessed this ministry. There were many challenges because the concept of domestic violence occurring in our church was a surprise to many members. Some of these challenges included fear of exposing the church as having problems, “airing dirty linen,” lack of funding, misconceptions about the dynamics of domestic violence, misunderstanding regarding the mission of Polly’s Place (There were individuals who accused us of wanting to break up marriages.), etc. But as a result of the many clients who were sheltered at Polly’s Place, and their testimonies, the church and surrounding communities recognized the need for Polly’s Place.

As I began doing presentations across the country and even overseas, the stories of abused women and men in our churches began to surface. More and more churches, women’s ministries organizations, family life educators, and pastors requested information and support. Polly and I prayed and were convinced we should begin a network so there would be a primary entity to address the issue of domestic violence and abuse in a compassionate, professional, and biblically-based manner.

Polly’s Place Network was established in 2003 to parent existing as well as new programs that want to address domestic violence and abused, pregnant teens. We continue this journey to end the intergenerational cycle of abuse, confident in God’s leading and faithfulness.

Mable: I am absolutely thrilled Alina is the new director. Not only is she qualified, efficient, and professional, she is also passionate about the ministry and is an effective administrator and team player. She initially became involved with Polly’s Place Network when she was hired to evaluate Cookies Retreat in Spokane, Washington, another affiliate shelter program. Doing so gave her knowledge of the operating aspect of Polly’s Place shelters and a broader scope of the mission and philosophy of the Network. … It was an easy decision to hire her. Alina and Peggy Cain, who is the new board chair for Polly’s Place—Niles, are a dynamic team and they report they have an extremely competent and active board.

Mable: Polly’s Place—Niles offers safe shelter, Christian counseling, legal advocacy, support services (food, clothing, transportation, medical assistance), referrals, community awareness presentations, and more. When I was executive director there, my husband/pastor and I taught a colloquium at the Theological Seminary at Andrews University. Topics included discussion on domestic violence, abuse, divorce, homosexuality, and other practical issues pastors would face in their ministry. We also counseled and mentored many pastoral couples. Even though we are now working in Upper Columbia Conference, we still get calls from pastors seeking advice, especially regarding domestic violence and abuse issues in their congregations. Recently we were at General Conference Session and two pastoral couples, whom we taught and mentored, came up to us and told us they were happy in ministry and having a fruitful marriage because of the help we gave them when they were dealing with issues of abuse.

Alina: We offer group therapy four times a week and individual therapy twice a week. We also offer workshops on various topics such as relaxation techniques, budgeting, Bible study, and parenting skills. We provide referral to financial and employment resources, and housing. Women and their children can stay up to two months, twice as long as most shelter programs. We have 12 beds in six bedrooms. We also educate the community and church leaders on the topic of domestic violence.

Alina: We offer referral to area treatment programs for men who are involved in domestic violence.

Polly: My dream has always been to shelter and help abused/pregnant teens during this difficult time in their lives. The suicide rate is so high in our precious pregnant teens. I want to help these young girls feel God’s abundant love for them and help them understand He has a plan for each one of them—whether they keep their baby or adopt it into a loving, Christian home (see Jeremiah 29:11).

Mable: Our children need direction, and information about alternatives to abortion. They need to develop skills and receive education that will help them become effective parents, positive role models, and productive citizens for this world and the next.

Alina: In the near future we want to open Mary's Inn (a home for abused, pregnant teens) … this has been in the plan all along, but there were not enough resources to start the program. In Spring 2006, we will aggressively pursue funding and program planning to open that program as soon as possible. We also hope to develop a transitional housing program for women who need more time to establish themselves if they want to be on their own.

Mable: We have many dreams, and they might seem unrealistic to some. Our larger vision includes ending domestic violence in our homes, churches, schools, and communities. We dream our churches, schools, and institutions will become healing centers where individuals (especially our children) will find acceptance, safety, freedom from condemnation, and the opportunity to exercise their individuals rights (Education, p. 17). … We dream that every union will establish a Polly’s Place program. We dream to develop an international training program where pastors, church leaders, church members, and other religious organizations can find resources and be educated to deal with domestic violence and teen pregnancy in a redemptive manner for both victims and perpetrators. We dream that one day Polly’s Place—Niles and the Network will be financially stable so we can fulfill Christ’s mission in Luke 4:18. We dream that our church will be at the forefront (on a global basis) addressing these issues from the religious perspective because we are concerned about people, not only church membership, lawsuits, or financial returns.

Many individuals have said that they are impressed that the Adventist church is finally addressing the issue of abuse, and that there are shelters where they can find safety and healing. They are surprised to learn many of the services offered by our programs are free. Some have even been re-baptized as a result of their connection with Polly's Place. We therefore dream that Polly’s Place and the Network will continue to be evangelistic tools to help our church lead individuals to Heaven.

Polly: It is my prayer that our Lake Union Conference, the women’s ministries departments, and all the other churches will embrace, adopt, and support this ministry, so very much needed in our churches and community.

Mable: One of my favorite stories actually comes from a pastoral couple. Because the husband was verbally and physically abusive, she drove 14 hours with her two children to get to Polly’s Place—Niles. She completed the two-month program and returned home. Weeks later I received a call from her husband—“What have you done to my wife?” I braced myself; I dealt with many irate husbands and had to be careful how I answered. After a quick prayer, I said, “At Polly’s Place we teach individuals how to value themselves. We also help to empower them to live their full potential in Christ. We teach them that they belong to God and that He does not want them to be abused by anyone.” I waited for a response, and after a long pause, he said, “I want to thank you and Polly’s Place for helping me and my wife. I am a pastor and I am an abuser. My wife came back from Polly’s Place changed. She stood up to me, and I realized that she meant every word. I was afraid that I would lose her. Her strength has made me see that I need to change. Thank you. I am in a treatment program now, but someday I hope that I can repay you for what you have done.”

Alina: They may phone us at: (269) 687-9822; or call toll free: (866) 889-6636. We can provide information over the phone, or your readers may e-mail us at: pollysplaceniles@yahoo.com.

Alina: If someone is interested in coming to Polly's Place—Niles, they should call us and we will do a confidential intake over the phone to see if our program is right for them. The staff will discuss their case and will let them know that same day if they can come to our center. We often have a waiting list, so the person may need a safe place to stay until we have an opening. We have information on other domestic violence shelters if that information is needed.

Alina: Polly’s Place—Niles has partnered with God to extend the healing ministry of Christ, who “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3 NKJV). Please pray for the leadership team, the ministry taking place there, and consider partnering with us financially to help our dreams become a reality and to bring the hope of Christ to individuals around the world and right here in the Lake Union.

Diane Thurber is the Lake Union Herald managing editor.

*Not their actual names