Do you have the perfect Adventist family? Have you ever seen one? As a youth pastor, I have discovered that behind the facade is usually a very normal and typical home with issues. We are by nature dysfunctional.

When we look to Scripture we find the very first family torn apart by tragedy. By taking matters into their own hands, Abraham and Sarah created a very divided and unblended family that is still in conflict today. Their grandson, Jacob, allowed jealousy and fear to rule his household, producing 12 sons from four different mothers. The result was deep anguish and heartache.

And then there is David, the poetic shepherd with a giant faith whose uncontrolled lust drove him to commit murder in an attempt to deal with the resulting pregnancy of his illicit affair.

And consider Jesus, who evidently experienced the loss of His father and the hurtful attacks by His brothers for His "insanity." Even His mother misunderstood Him and subsequently had to be rejected as a source of direction and counsel for His life.

And consider the fact that Jesus befriended a family whose own perversion robbed sweet Mary of her innocence, purity, and worth, leading her into a life of prostitution.

And what do we do about Paul, who at one time was probably married (a qualification to be a Pharisee), yet speaks of his own singleness as a blessing?

The pages of Scripture are filled with families of brokenness. One of the most repeated stories is of the loving father, aka the prodigal son. What is God saying to us about families?

First, we must recognize that God's counsel is given to preserve families and to avoid the very things we noted above. By being truly converted, we can experience the fruits of God's Spirit creating an atmosphere of love in the home—a home where joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control abound.

Second, our response to brokenness must be modeled after the God of Scripture. Many feel that if they extend grace and acceptance to families who are experiencing brokenness as a result of ill-advised choices, they are somehow condoning and perpetuating a sinful course. Feeling justified, they condemn and shun the hurting as part of their just punishment and as a deterrent to others.

Yet God did not cast His broken children aside. He restored their dignity; He continued to use them as His chosen instruments of grace, and He blessed them as He accomplished His purposes in spite of their faulty choices.

Third, we need our communities of fellowship to be safe places where we are free to honestly seek help. We need a place where couples can say, "We are experiencing difficulty in our relationship and we need your help and your prayers." We need a place where parents, even parents in positions of leadership, can say, "We are struggling with how to relate to our children, and we need you to provide another loving adult with whom our children can connect."

Rather than deny our brokenness as a church, we need to recognize that our pews are filled with abusers and victims, the hopeless and those who feel worthless, the addicted, the perverted, and the dejected.

Let us then encourage one another, confess to one another, and embrace one another as God's broken children. As the writer to the Hebrew children advises, "Let's consider how we can cheer one another on toward love and good acts" (Hebrews 10:24).

Gary Burns is the Lake Union Conference communication director.