When I was 10, the condition I had been dealing with since birth became critical. Eczema, which primarily had been affecting my skin, now was causing serious mobility challenges as well, particularly in my arms and legs. New medications, more medical appointments, and therapy sessions were required. I could no longer participate in all the activities that my friends did. My school attendance was suffering.
In addition to enduring physical pain and limitations, my spiritual life was spiraling downward. I found myself questioning God. I wondered, “Why is He allowing this to happen to me? If He is all-powerful and sees me as His child, why isn’t He healing me?”
My pastor, who is also a close family friend, asked me if I wanted to be anointed. He explained to me, “Sebastian, our God is a God of ‘Yes.’ He hears your prayer, and He will heal you. The ‘Yes’ may not come immediately, however. It may come later. But if God’s ‘Yes’ doesn’t come immediately, or even as soon as we would wish, it most certainly will come when Jesus returns and makes all things new — including your body. Our God is a God of ‘Yes.’”
Healing didn’t come immediately. The answers to my questions didn’t come right away either. Still, I decided to make a deal with God. I said, “God, if You are who You say You are, I have two options — to be all in or all out. I choose all in. Please use me fully. Show me how You can use me.”
A few years later, one of my closest friends who was living in another state confided in me that he was experiencing severe struggles. He confessed to thinking, “Is life even worth continuing?” We stayed in touch, and I encouraged him each time we talked. Later, he told me that witnessing my suffering and my acceptance of my condition helped him to find purpose and reasons to carry on.
My friend is doing so much better now. He loves God in a way that I never could have imagined for him before. Together, we made a pact to share our testimonies at our different schools. We ended up doing our talks very close to the same time. In our testimonies, we told our schoolmates that while we may look okay from the outside, things may be very different on the inside. This is the case for so many people. It is okay not to feel okay in this world. Everyone is dealing with something. But we don’t have to go through it alone. There is help available — from God, from friends, from those around us.
Now, as an Andrews Academy junior, it still surprises me to realize that I’ve been able to share my testimony publicly when I served as pastor of the student association. God has answered my prayer to use me.
My illness and my deal with God have taught me that I don’t have to wait until I am fully healed — physically or spiritually — to serve. I regularly remind myself that “Pain is access to testimony. It is not an excuse.” My ongoing challenges have led to renewed commitment and stronger faith. They have given me a story to share, a way of relating to others who are suffering, and a clearer picture of who my God is. My God is a God of “Yes.”
Sebastian Silie, as told to Beverly Matiko